My dad was laid off last week and I am so worried about what's going to happen to my family.  How are we going to be able to afford anything?  So many people are unemployed right now.  I'm scared that my dad won't be able to find work. 

Answer 

I’m very sorry that you’re family is struggling. It’s definitely scary when a family member is laid off. The financial security a family once had is no longer there. One positive thing about struggling financially or in any other way is that it provides us with an opportunity to grow closer to God as we depend on Him for provisions.

Jesus tells us that God will take care of our needs if we seek His kingdom first. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34.

Your dad’s lay off doesn’t necessarily mean that your family will be without income. Unemployment is available for your dad, which would provide income for your family while he is looking for a new job. It probably won’t match his former salary, but it’ll be good to have that help however much it amounts to. Also, your parents may have saved money in case of emergencies such as this one. You just don’t know.

Ultimately, this is not your burden to bear. Your parents are responsible for providing for the family. I can understand your fear of your father not being able to find work, but that is your dad’s responsibility, not yours. Worrying won’t change things, but prayer can. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7.

Try talking to your parents about your fears. Maybe they can offer you some reassurance that things really aren’t as bad as they seem right now. It will be a struggle, for sure, but you will make it through.

when a person is fired from a job or fails in life, it is better that he/she commit suicide.  there is no other option.  once a person loses a job, his/her life is meaningless for no other employer wants them.  furthermore, if a student is not an A student, he/she cannot go to college and has to accept a menial job and be poor.  it is better to commit suicide than to live a life without purpose and meaning.

Answer

Have you ever hear the phrase, "The mind’s a terrible thing to waste"? Most people hear it as just a phrase to casually toss around, but I see that it is not only 100% true, but it also has serious significance on our lives especially our quality of life.

The brain consists of neurological pathways that control and monitor everything we do. They develop throughout our lives (even as newborn babies) by different kinds of stimulization: sight, hearing, talking, motor skills, smell, etc… Once these pathways are created they need to be maintained and further developed by more of the same kind of stimulization. When we understand this amazing fact about our minds we are able to see clearly that nothing, not even our smallest action or thought is wasted –However, when an individual is depressed they neglect to exercise certain, and at times, most parts of their brain.

Our legs, arms, gluts, and abs are not the only parts of us that need exercise –Our minds do too! Do you know what happens when somebody becomes depressed? They start to withdrawal from people, they stop engaging in activities they once enjoyed because they don’t see a point in them anymore, they often (not always) sleep more than the non-depressed and they generally stay cooped up in their house as much as possible.

Do you know what happens to a person’s brain when they start doing these things? The neural connections associated with every behavior they are not doing anymore die! I’m not joking –Our brain is, well, pretty intelligent and as such it makes very important decisions often without us even being aware. When we do not use neural pathways over a period of time the brain decides to cut its losses, and I mean that quite literally. That neural pathway dies and other neural pathways (if there are other ones that are thriving take over). It is very similar to the parable Jesus shares about the vine and the branches (John 15:1-17).

In this parable the branches (people) get pruned or are cut off completely to make room for other branches. The gardener (God) determines what to do with which branch based on if that branch is producing fruit or not –The ones that produce fruit he prunes so that they can bear more fruit, but the ones that do not bear fruit he cuts off so that the fruitful branches have more room to grow.

This is exactly what our brains do. The fruitless neural connections get cut off so that the fruitful ones can take over that area of the brain –Our brain is NOT a pack rat, that’s for sure. "If your not using it lets get rid of it" is the philosophy of the mind. One other important point from the parable of the vine and branches is that Jesus is the vine. For any branch (person) to bear fruit he must remain in the vine. He cannot bear fruit without Jesus. So in the same way when we talk about depression and neural connections we need to consider the fact that this may have more to do with God than the world (or Satan for that matter) would want you to believe.

So you see, in truth, we really can waste our minds, but knowing this allows us to see how to best cultivate our minds as well. Everything we do, say, or think either creates new neural pathways or strengthens existing ones so that they can be more fruitful in the future. Even the most minute things you do improve brain functioning –Things like saying hi to somebody, putting your pants on one leg at a time, or even our favorite activity in America, drinking coffee.

If you use this perspective to judge the importance of your life right now, I think you will see that even though you may fail at things failing is a learning experience and a learning experience translates into greater brain functioning. So you see, failure is really success in disguise.

Now if you are struggling with depression the best thing you can do for your physical health, your mental health, your emotional health, and most importantly your spiritual health is to fight through depression –Fight through it with all you’ve got.

Every time you go out with friends when you feel like staying home because of depression you are one step closer to victory. Every time you decide to be active instead of sleeping the day away you are one step closer to victory. Victory over depression does not come over night. It take hard work and patience. Suicide is an easy way out –A courageous man or woman would fight it with everything they’ve got ‘til they can’t fight it anymore because they’ve experienced victory over it.

Depression, if taken care of, is only one season of your life. There are many other season, better seasons that you are yet to experience. You cannot let the feelings that come with depression dictate your actions. Instead you must take a stand against depression despite the fact that you don’t feel like it. It’s the only way to have victory. And I promise if you do this and put your hope in God, your feelings won’t be far behind. They’ll catch up.

We are in spiritual warfare, Christians and non-Christians alike, whether we believe it or not (Ephesians 6:10). Satan would like nothing better than to convince us that spiritual warfare does not exist because then we are forced to believe the worst about ourselves, about others, and about life. We become hopeless. Suicide happens when people internalize Satan’s lies to the extreme –They just soak it all up. "You’re worthless, your never going to be happy, nobody loves you, nobody wants you"…The list goes on and on.

But if you exercise those neural connections a bit by objectively looking at your life you will find that those lies are not based in reality whatsoever.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I hope this helps clear the fog a bit.

Forever in Christ,

Stephanie

My parents and I can’t have a conversation without arguing. I feel like they don’t understand me at all. I wish we could just get along. Can you help me?

Answer

A typical issue for parents and adolescent children is the conflict of trying to get a point across and not feeling heard. This conflict goes both ways. Both parents and children feel like the other half doesn’t understand. This can become very frustrating and often results in arguments as both parties are trying to get their own points across. The teen years are a difficult time for a lot of families. Teen children are becoming more independent and parents are trying to find a balance between regulating their children’s behavior and letting go.

James 1:19 says this: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." How does this apply to your situation? Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Try to understand your parents first before you argue your case. Not only is this showing respect for your parents, but it will also help your case. Your parents, or anybody for that matter, are more likely to listen to you if you show that you are interested in what they have to say.

If you catch yourself starting to argue, start from the beginning again. Stop arguing and try to understand what they are saying and why they are saying it. Parents love their children. They generally say and do things with the best interest of their child in mind. If you understand the motive behind what they are saying, you can at least find a way to tolerate their choices for your life even if you disagree.

If there comes a point where you disagree with what they want for you, you’re called to do the difficult thing. Accept it, because they’re your parents. Sure, you can say how you feel about it, but if they decide to stick to their original plan you need to respect that. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Colossians 3:20).

You can’t necessarily change how your parents communicate with you, but you can change how you communicate with them. Set an example and maybe they will follow your lead. But even if they don’t you at least know that you are doing everything you can to help the situation. "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18).

I hope this gives you something to start with. Going from arguing all the time to having calm conversations may take some time and definitely some effort on your part. Don’t feel discouraged if at first you don’t succeed. Try again. Your parents will eventually see the effort you are making.

I come from a gifted family. My brother is a stud, my sister is a brainiac, and I have learning difficulties. How come God made me this way? What value do I have? Don’t tell me what my parents keep telling me, "you are very special in your own way." I know I am "special" which means different. But why did God make me a loser and my siblings cool?

Answer

God doesn’t make losers. Everybody he makes is perfectly designed for God’s purpose. God doesn’t make losers, because God is so perfect he can’t make a mistake in creating somebody. You are seeing things as the world views things instead of as God views them. Many people in the Bible didn’t think they were good for much either until God showed them they were. Let me offer you a different perspective.

Did you know that the kingdom Jesus preaches is an upside down kingdom? It’s completely reversed from the way the world thinks. In truth, it’s the world’s view of things that is upside-down. What Jesus teaches goes against our own notions of how things should be.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you" (Matthew 5:3-12).

This is an interesting passage. At first glance some of the things Jesus says in this passage seem a bit off. Jesus is saying that the qualities that we value in this world aren’t the same qualities that God finds pleasing. It doesn’t say blessed are the strong, for they will inherit the earth, though surely this is what the world believes. Instead, it says the opposite. The meek will inherit the earth. The kingdom of heaven is not for the confident and proud, but for the poor in spirit, the humble. The people that everybody looks up to and aspires to be like aren’t blessed. It’s the people that are insulted and persecuted in the name of Christ. This is a tough concept for us to grasp as we try to reconcile it with the messages we receive from the world. Let me give you some examples of people God has done powerful things through.

King David was the runt of his family. When the Lord told Samuel to go to Jesse of Bethlehem because the Lord had chosen one of Jesse’s sons to be the next king of Israel, Samuel was sure he knew which son God was talking about. But God responds to Samuel’s assumption, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). The Lord has Samuel anoint David, the youngest of many brothers. The rest of David’s story can be found in 1 Samuel.

The next underdog of the Bible I am going to discuss is Gideon. Judges 6 starts out by describing what the setting was like. "Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, and for seven years he gave them into the hands of the Midianites. Because the power of Midian was so oppressive, the Israelites prepared shelters for themselves in mountain clefts, caves, and strongholds" (Judges 6:1-2). An angel of the Lord came to Gideon and said, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior" (6:12). Gideon doubts this by asking if God is with him why has all of that happened to his people. The Lord responds, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?" (6:14). Gideon then raises his biggest doubt saying, "But Lord how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family" (6:15). When Gideon defeated the Midianites his army numbered 300, which was extremely small. But despite Gideon’s lack of strength God gave him victory.

The stories I mentioned are only two stories of numerous underdogs who did amazing things in God’s power. Some other people in the Bible who didn’t have the qualities the world thought were needed are: Moses, Joseph, Jesus, and many of the disciples and apostles.

When God recruited Moses, Moses responded, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue….O Lord, please send someone else to do it" (Exodus 4:10, 13).

Joseph was sold into slavery by his very own brothers and later rose into a highly respected position among a powerful Egyptian. His story can be found in Genesis.

And then there is Jesus. "Your attitude should b e the same as that of Christ Jesus. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the father" (Philippians 2:5-11). Jesus was ridiculed in his days on Earth. Jesus had the ability to be something great on Earth and he was (and is), but he didn’t pursue worldly greatness.

"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45). Jesus is saying that to be great you must become less. To be great you must serve and sacrifice for others. Talk about flipping things around.

So you see it’s all a matter of perspective. God can do just as much through you as he can through the rest of your family. It may not be obvious to you what your strengths are right now, but rest assured God has created you to be just who he needs you to be. Ask God to use you in mighty ways and watch what happens. I’m certain you will be absolutely amazed.